First, I reflect on this day three years ago. I remember driving through a mountain to get to the hospital, waiting hours for a room, desparately wanting my mother to arrive from the airport, pain like I never could have been prepared for, the oh so precious relief of an epidural and tiny thumping noises from a heart monitor. I remember feeling very excited and terrified at the same time. I knew that Heavenly Father was entrusting one of his choice spirits to our care, a choice spirit who found much enjoyment in kicking his mother's ribs. As I held Bryson's little body close to mine, traced his face with my finger, and stroked his head, I knew that my Heavenly Father loved me very much.
Bryson, you have brought me such joy in these last three years. I love the sound of your giggles and laughter. I love hearing your beautiful voice. I love when we whisper I Love You's to each other. I love seeing you light up as your imagination transforms you into your favorite superhero, animal or object. I love your mature sensitivity towards others and their feelings. I look forward to every day of being your mother. I love you.
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Today, I also reflect on the memories I have of a dear friend, Amanda Gunter. I recently received the news that she, along with her husband and 2-year-old daughter, was involved in a fatal car crash. Amanda was thrown from the vehicle and suffered injuries that took her life and the life of their unborn child (5 months along). Levin, Amanda's husband, had to be cut from the car and was in critical condition until just recently. Their daughter, Ansley, miraculously came away with little more than a scratch on her head.
I am still digesting this terrible reality, but feel that sharing this will help me as I sort through these emotions. I was priviledged to meet Amanda at BYU Hawaii. She and Levin were newlyweds, very social and outgoing. We attended the same ward at church and lived in the same building on campus. I never remember seeing Amanda in a bad mood and as I read through others' tributes to her, I truly believe that she had a smile on her face even in her sleep. She was genuine, happy, caring, talented, devoted, loving and charitable. I ache to think that her daughter will only remember her goodness through the words written and spoken of her.
My heart goes out to her dear husband and both of their families. Life has stopped for them and I pray that they will feel the love, support and prayers on their behalf. Amanda, as you watch us from above, know that you touched the lives of many people and I am confident that you are finding out right now how proud and pleased our Heavenly Father is with the things you accomplished during your time on earth. We love you.
2 comments:
ALL very beautifully said. I wish I could put my emotions into words as beautifully as you do.
Motherhood has been such a blessing (and often a growing experience for kids as well as mother :)
Thank you for the beautiful words about Amanda. She was a beautiful person. It may take me a lifetime to learn the attributes that she had so naturally.
Has it been three years already!?? I remember our birthing classes and being so jealous of you when you delivered Bryson before I had William.
We were as shocked as you were when we heard about Amanda. How she will be missed.
We miss you guys and glad to hear you're doing well. Oh and PS you wanna fly down to make William's birthday cake? :)
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